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Throwback Thursday: ads of the 90s

Oh, the 90s: an era of centre partings, girl power and the dot-com bubble (remember that?). Looking at the following list, it’s clear that overconsumption of sugar ranked pretty low on our list of concerns, while bright colours and bad acting were flying sky high. Now sit back and enjoy some classic ads of the 90s – a journey back in time to the decade that’s inexplicably rolled back into fashion. Unbelievable.

Sugar Puffs: Kevin Keegan

Seriously, you guys: you’re welcome. That’s Kevin Keegan two times in as many weeks, this time with the addition of a football-playing Honey Monster. A few great things to note about this advert: firstly, the weirdly satisfying sound of the Honey Monster heading a football. Secondly, the line, ‘That’s football, Kev.’ And finally, the hysterical voice over that’s so aggressive you fear there must be an expletive on its way. So good.

Jacob’s: join our club

This song is undeniably catchy, but it’s only really with 20 years’ breathing space that we can appreciate its ridiculousness. If that kid had actually started singing his biscuit song to a stranger in the park, he would definitely have been socially excluded from all future activities. Also, why is a man pushing a wheelbarrow full of fruit and singing about confectionary?

Fruitella: too juicy

Hands up who did a bit of Fruitella mirror lip syncing to this one! Go on, hands up. Don’t be shy. Just us? That’s cool.

Calvin Klein: Marky Mark

Seriously though, what? This got made? Kate Moss is just wandering around aimlessly holding her boobs. What kind of crazy world is this? Reality check, Calvin.

Wrigley: statemint of the great mint

There are some heinous rhyme crimes going on here, friends. Absolutely awful. On the plus side, we spy Tia and Tamera Mowry – Sister, Sister! A true 90s classic.

Weetabix: Marie Celeste

Fair enough – kids probably don’t want to watch an advert about the health benefits of a wheaty mini hay bale. They do, however, want to watch an animation about a pirate ship. So nice one, Weetabix.

Tango: orange man

‘You’ve been Tangoed’ is a catchphrase that any child of the 90s will immediately recognise. For six years, people knew they’d been Tangoed if they were either slapped or kissed by a portly orange man. Should you want to read more about the creation of the ad – and why wouldn’t you? – there’s a rather nice piece by its co-creator over on The Guardian.

Dime: armadillo

Harry Enfield is synonymous with 90s British TV, so it makes sense that he appeared in one of its iconic ads. It doesn’t totally make sense that it’s a DIme ad, but then again, there probably aren’t many armadillo companies out there looking for a brand ambassador.

Castlemaine: your missus

Those bloody Aussies – what are they like, eh? Worrying YouTube comment alert: ‘This was the best advertising campaign ever shown in the UK.’ Yikes.

Baby All Gone: smells like cherries

How creepy were 90s dolls? They ate stuff, they peed, they blinked. WHY DID THEY PEE? So weird.

Milk: cool for cats

Apparently, drinking milk gives you really stretchy limbs, plus the ability to score with hot women. Because, as we all know, drinking milk out of the bottle with a red straw at a party is bad-ass.

Next week: THE NOUGHTIES. We’re pretty excited about this one. Here’s a quick spoiler: ‘Belly’s gonna get ya!’